My little super hero
Updated: Mar 25, 2018
Ryan recently reminded me of a message I received a few years ago from a dear friend. "I know how hard your journey has been. This has inspired me to re-evaluate things and take charge of my life. I will take a risk on myself and look at pursuing my own goals without fear of failure. Thanks for being you Kate. You give strength to many. One day we will be at your book launch."
So this is my book launch, this is me paying it forward. This is my sincere thanks to all who have influenced, helped, loved and guided me and my family.
Ashton was diagnosed with Asperger's (ASD) when he was 3. I love my little super hero to pieces, but I would be lying if I said that motherhood was anything like I expected. I would also be lying if I said that life with Ashton wasn’t challenging. It tests me every day.
At times our home is like a war zone. Meltdowns, cuts, bruises, a trashed house, they are all but simple in comparison to watching your little boy self-harm and loath on himself.
At times anxiety has kept him from school for lengthy periods, waking in the morning to vomiting and tears because of the anxiety that builds with the thought of school. His worrying and obsessing over small insignificant things that to him feel like storms. Sounds, textures, socializing, time, sleep, routine even small things like wearing socks or the sound of a passing motor bike would put him into a spin and panic.
Routine and timetable and boundaries, an ever changing array of trying to predict and manage the day. Unreasonable expectations set about by the very thought he had that morning. Packing and unpacking bags, worrying that people would die, afraid to close his eyes or leave the kitchen to walk into the living room by himself. Some days, afraid of himself. Watching this as a mother is beyond painful.
Dr's, tests, trying to predict and manage the future. This is daunting and expensive. Are we making the right choices for him? What next?
Asperger's has divided our family and brought us closer at the same time. The constant advocating….unless you have lived it, it can be hard to understand. The stimming and walking on egg shells, it is a lonely journey.
The endless guilt and worry. Did I do something wrong, what will his future be like, what more can I do?
Some days I've felt lost in our circumstances and my hope and faith waived. I have spent so many years thinking that things were always going to be different to how they turned out.
So much has been sacrificed yet now I look back, so much more was gained. Ashton has been a blessing and our greatest gift. He has been our teacher our guide to seeing beauty in simplicity and gratitude in the ordinary.
The journey he has taken us on over the past years have given me enlightenment to self-development and continual growth.
My journey has lead me to explore a better way. To question and keep moving forward. The benefits of this growth have been remarkable for our family. This has not been a solitary journey but one I endured with Ryan and our loving family.
I see very clearly now that there is always going to be a mountain to move. It’s our choice to be strong, to keep pushing forward. Your struggles might knock you but they will never break you. The moments that challenge us are the moments that we remember most because they are the moments that define us.
Before Ashton was born, I owned and operated a boutique florist and gift store in the Whitsundays. Having sold my conventional business of 12 years and moving from our island home to a country town to be able to be a full time mum to Ashton, I found myself lost and lonely. A new town, new home, new life. Everything had changed. I had chosen to give up my fitness, my health, my friendships and connection, I had chosen to give up on me in place of putting Ashton first. He never asked me to do this nor would it have ever been expected but my own self limiting beliefs directed my path.
I was offered a business opportunity with a social marketing company in October 2015. It wasn't something I thought would serve me but I liked the thought of meeting new people and gaining some of my independence back. I wanted connection.
I could have stayed home and become a recluse, I could have cried and grieved for our families challenges and struggles but I knew that being strong and leading by example serves not only my son, but those who enter my life…. and most of all it serves me in the greatest way…. Unlimited potential and possibility is what this opportunity has shown me.
Now I run a successful online business, I have wonderful connection and friendships, I am independent and I can make time to do the things I love whilst being my very best self for Ashton and Ryan.
There is never a right time for anything… time is always ticking and life is busy! There have been many of times I have questioned when this business seemed too hard with everything else we have on our plate, but I borrowed belief and I carried on. I just worked harder, knowing that I was on the right path. Life demands you to be resilient and resourceful.
At the right time this opportunity came along and gave me new perspective. It allows me to leverage my time and be the mother that Ashton needs and deserves. It is allowing me to create and build a legacy that will not only serve Ashton but many families, to earn an incredible income on my terms, it allows me to grow and develop myself, to build friendships with like-minded people, it breeds confidence and positive belief and love….and at times, it has been the very thing that has kept me going.
I love what I do, where I am headed and I love the people that have come into my life because of this business.
It is my intention to share with you snippets of my life and lessons. This blog is food for my soul and I hope for yours also. Life is meant to be shared! At the end of your life, will it be possessions and material belongings or people and experiences that you treasure. You have everything within you to life an extraordinary life, one in which you feel loved and love others.
I am inspired to create that life, to choose to be the best version of me and to leave this world a little better for it.